A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."
A little boy is walking down the street and finds a Welder's mask. He puts it on and is flipping the face plate up and down when a limo pulls up next to him. Inside is a perverted old man who says, "Excuse me little boy, do you know what Sodomy is?"
The little boy ignores him and keeps walking, flipping the Welders mask up and down.
The old man persists, "Excuse me little boy, have you ever performed oral sex on an old man?"
Finally, the little boy looks at the old man and says, "Look mister, I'm gonna level with you. I'm not really a Welder. I found this mask!"
A dirty old man pulls up in his car beside a little boy.
Holding a bag full of sweets, he says, "Hey kid, if I give you a piece of candy, will you come in my car?"
The little boy replies, "Hell mister, give me the whole bag and I'll come in your mouth!"
A guy and a girl are having sex, and the girl says, "Don't you think it was presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?"
The man replies, "Don't you think 'presumptuous' is a big word for a second-grader?"
What's the best thing about fucking a two year old?
Your dick looks huge in the photographs!
What did one pedophile say to the other?
"I'll give you two fives for a ten."
A man finds his girlfriend furiously packing a suitcase in the bedroom and asks her what's up.
His girlfriend replies, "My therapist says that you're a pedophile and I should leave you!"
The man replies, "Wow, you're pretty smart for an eleven-year-old!"
A little girl is standing by the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out.
A man comes over and says, "What's wrong little girl?"
The little girl still crying just points over to the edge of the cliff.
The man looks over the edge and sees a car with the little girl's parents mangled n the rocks below.
The man turns round, unzips his fly and says, "I guess it just ain't your lucky day!"
A man goes into a drugstore and says to the druggist, "I need some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
"Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
"Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
"I feel like a kid again."
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in the basement of my house.
A boy comes home from school and his mother asks him what he did in school today. "I had sex with my teacher!" the boy relied.
"YOU WHAT?" the mother screamed. "You just wait until your father gets home, young man! Now get upstairs to your room!"
Later that evening the father comes home and is told about his sons escapades at school that day. He goes into his sons room and puts his arm around the boy. "Son", he says, "I suppose I should be mad at you but I just can't help but be proud of you. I mean, what I wouldn't have given to do that at your age! In fact, I'm so proud I'm going to buy you a new bike! How's that?"
The boy replies, "Gee, thanks anyway Dad but my ass is still kind of sore from school."
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
A sex researcher is interviewing men about what they do with their other hand when they masturbate. Three subjects are in the room.
He asks the first man, who replies: "I hold a porno mag."
The second says: "I hold a computer mouse to browse porn on the net."
The third says: "I hold a sponge."
The researcher, startled, says: "Why a sponge?"
"Well, I've got to use something to bathe the kids."
One day the parents of an eleven-year-old boy and his ten-year-old sister leave them alone together in the house. The two kids begin talking about "it," and pretty soon they decide to try doing "it" with each other.
After they're done, the boy says: "Wow, you're even better than Mom!"
"I know," says the girl, "that's what Dad says too."
What's the best part about fucking a six-year-old girl?
When you're done, you can turn her over and pretend you're fucking a six-year-old boy!
A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I go to the prom?"
He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."
Well, the girl really wants to go to the prom, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
He says, "I know. Your brother wanted to go too!"
How do you stop an 8-year-old boy from choking?
Take your dick out of his mouth.
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
The little boy in the trunk of my car.
A boy and a pedophile are out at night, walking towards the forest.
The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"
The pedophile says, "You're scared! I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"
A man is taking a shower with his 6 year old daughter when she asks, "Daddy, what's that between your legs?"
"That's a Penis, honey."
"When am I going to get one of those?" she asked, innocently.
"As soon as Mommy goes to the Mall."
Why do pedophiles love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's cot ?
A pedophile's ass. |
