Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: She screams her own name when she comes.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had an appendix operation?
A: Well, now she is making money on the side.
Q: Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach?
A: She's afraid to get sand in her Busch.
Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: To keep their legs together.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found out she was embezzling.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...
Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?" The nymph says "Are you done already?" The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
A4: You don't eat your bowling ball
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell
if they're going to work or coming home.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
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