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When she walks in front of the TV, you miss 5 minutes of your show.
You can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.
When she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please!"
When she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's, they gave her the key to the
store.
When she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's, they gave her a dinosaur.
When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
They had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most."
When she goes in the water at the beach, she changes the tide.
She eats pumpkin pies like they are Skittles.
She makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.
She is so fat, she shows up on radar.
She stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D.
She's so fat, she roller-skates on busses.
She sat on a rowing machine and it sank.
The Body Snatchers called home for backup.
She's taller lying down.
They have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.
When she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look
at the elephant!"
When God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the
way.
She buys clothes in three sizes: Extra Large, Jumbo, and
Oh-My-God-It's-Coming-Towards-Us.
The telephone company gave her two area codes.
She wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.
She has a greater gravitational pull than a black hole.
When she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
She tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
She stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
She uses blanket as a washcloth.
When she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines
biggest jet. |
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