| |
|
When the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on
the roof.
You use sheep for tampons.
When you bend over there's an eclipse in 3 continents.
When you step on the talking scales, it screams.
You'd need a crane to hang a picture of her on a wall.
Her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Her picture takes two frames.
Her favorite blouse is a tent.
Even her shadow has stretch marks.
Her blood type is Ragu.
She got in a fight and the person fighting with her got lost in her.
She eats her cereal out of a satellite dish.
She has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
After she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
When she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
When she goes to the drycleaners and hands in her underwear they say "Sorry, no
parachutes accepted."
If she weighed 5 more pounds she could get group insurance.
When she went to the Rose Parade everyone thought she was a float.
When she wears heels in the morning, they're flats by the afternoon.
She can lay down or stand up and her height doesn't change.
On a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.
I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he said he'd seen her
too.
She once fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
She fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"
Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Her car is made of spandex.
She looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.
She made weight watchers go blind.
At the Zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.
When she walks across the living room, the radio skips.
You can pinch an inch on her forehead. |
|
|
