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You should make a point of trying every experience once,
except incest and folk dancing.
- Arnold Bax
No matter how low your own self-esteem, there are probably others who think less
of you.
- David S. Brown
How many of you ever started dating someone because you were too lazy to commit
suicide
- Judy Tenuta
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you
with a miniature machine gun.
- Matt Groening.
Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
- William Dean Howells
At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with
themselves'."
- PJ O'Rourke
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we
don't like.
- Jean Cocteau.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery
has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us
we're schizophrenic
- Lily Tomlin
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already
- Cynthia Heimel
A humanitarian is always a hypocrite.
- George Orwell
Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the
American public.
- Frank Zappa
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite
people themselves.
- Jim Harrison
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
Stay with me, I want to be alone.
- Joey Adams
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms
it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
- Douglas Adams
She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.
- Noel Coward
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have
mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.
- Samuel Levenson
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut
up the insane we would run out of building materials.
- Mark Twain
I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
- Richard Feynman
I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of
the world can kiss my ass.
- Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., executed by injection, Texas
Shoot straight you bastards and don't make a mess of it!
- Harry Harbord Morant, executed by firing squad
Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you're screwing
around.
- Carl Panzram, executed by hanging Leavenworth, Kansas
I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
- Ernesto "Che" Guevara, addressing his assassin
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering
from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're
okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird
LOVE, n.
A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and
many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under
artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple
food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently
to the physician than to the patient.
- Ambrose Pierce: The Devil's Dictionary
One-tenth of the folks run the world. One-tenth watch them run it, and the other
eighty percent don't know what the hell's going on.
- Jake Simmons
Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to
take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking
we were at when we created them.
- Albert Einstein |
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