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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by
age 18.
- Albert Einstein
All our lauded technological progress - our very civilization - is like the axe
in the hand of the pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
Reality must take precedence over public relations; for nature cannot be fooled.
- Richard P. Feynman
If a madman were to come into this room with a stick in his hand, no doubt we
should pity the state of his mind; but our primary consideration would be to
take care of ourselves. We should knock him down first, and pity him afterwards.
- Dr Samuel Johnson
Nuclear weapons could destroy all life on earth, if used properly.
- David Byrne
I know : 'Guns Don't Kill People.' But I suspect that they have something to do
with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, 'Bang, bang, you're dead,'
not much actually happens.
- Molly Ivins
Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The
latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to
hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
- Albert Einstein
The terrifying power of the human sex drive is horrifically demonstrated by the
fact that someone was willing to father you.
- Ipso Fatso
Sir, you pride yourself on an ability in which any ignorant barbarian is your
equal and any jackass immeasurably your superior.
- John Randolph
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is
over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love - the love
between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his
dog, or two headwaiters.
- Woody Allen
He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would
fully suffice.
- Albert Einstein
She never was really charming till she died.
- Terence
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.
- Kin Hubbard
The greatest thing since they reinvented un-sliced bread.
- William Keegan
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
- George Jean Nathan
There are lies, damn lies and statistics.
- Mark Twain
The real problem is in the hearts and minds of men. It is easier to denature
plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.
- Albert Einstein
At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date.
- Edith Massey in "Polyester"
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed
entirely of lost airline luggage.
- Mark Russell
Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female.
- Desmond Morris
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
- Paul Ehrlich
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is
discovered.' They all left town immediately.
- Mark Twain
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- W.C. Fields
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have
mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller
History is more or less bunk.
- Henry Ford
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to
dispense it.
- Dick Cavett
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family,
it seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexander Dumas
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
- Groucho Marx
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
- Gore Vidal
The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
- Desmond Morris
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my
neighborhood after dark.
- Dick Gregory
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
- Eric Hoffer
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the
billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
- Ogden Nash
I love children - especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
- Nancy Mitford
[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women
to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy
capitalism and become lesbians.
- Pat Robertson
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
- Quentin Crisp
Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards
- R. A. Dickson
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
- Robert Frost
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my
enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.
- Voltaire
Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the
species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
You can't say that civilization doesn't advance, however, for in every war they
kill you in a new way.
- Will Rogers |
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