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He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.
- Percival Wilde
She was kind of girl who'd eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but
peanuts and filberts.
- Raymond Chandler
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
- Joan Rivers
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was
waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
- Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries?
Mere killing would be too light.
- Mark Twain
What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mahatma Ghandi
I will always love the false image I had of you.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophiliac, but that would be beating a
dead horse.
- Woody Allen
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- Mae West
She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the
water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.
- Charles Talleyrand
She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a
channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.
-W. Somerset Maugham
You're a parasite for sore eyes.
- Gregory Ratoff
The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
- William Keegan
If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies
- Charles Pierce
He's thin boys. He's thin as piss on a hot rock.
- William F. Jenner on Averell Harriman
I thought men like that shot themselves.
-King George V
Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
- Tobias George Smolett
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.
- Kin Hubbard
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather
dance with the cows until you come home.
- Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx
In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.
- Ellen Glascow
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
- Joseph Stilwell
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
- Jack E. Leonard
They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side,
he should be castrated anyway.
- Hunter S. Thompson
We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
Well, I think we ought to let him hang there. Let him twist slowly in the wind.
- John Ehrlichman
Another victory like that and we are done for.
- Pyrrhus
You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
- Jim Samuels
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity
Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
- Spike Milligan
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